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How breaking my promise not to call breaks my heart
Failure to connect and find Diamond fills my heart with gloom

This year’s Juvenile Prison Christmas Party is 3 days away! I am so excited and can’t wait to throw another surprise to the 160 boys who have no clue about this. Yet, I am also sad and heart broken that I cannot trace and find Diamond and his mom.

I had promised not to call the contact who used to connect me to Diamond’s mom. Yet today, I couldn’t stop myself. I just had to call. Part me was skeptic, the other half remained optimistic. But first, I dialed the phone number Diamond had given a Lifesong Kenya staff member.

Dear God in heaven, make this happen, I prayed, listening to my heart beat.

‘The person you’ve called is not available,’ the Safaricom voice that is becoming an enemy, announced. ‘We’ll notify you when the mobile subscriber is back. If you wish to leave a voice message then please do so after the tone.

As the previous times I have called, I dialed my contact’s number. She is the one who had helped deliver the groundnuts we had bought as seed capital so Diamond’s mom could operate a business.

“Hello, this is James,” I said. “I had promised to wait for your call and I’m sorry for breaking my promise.”

“It is okay my son,” she replied.

“Have you seen or heard from Diamond and his mom?” I asked.

“Not yet,” she replied. “I’ve gone to where she used to stay and they connected me to a pub where she used to sell roasted groundnuts and sesame seeds. They said they haven’t seen her in weeks.”

“Okay,” I said, not feeling okay at all.

“Maybe they went up country,” she suggested.

“Let’s hope so,” I replied. “Thanks for your time,” I added.

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How breaking my promise not to call breaks my heart

I cannot find Diamond and his mom.

Not being able to connect with Diamond and his mom tears my heart apart.

How can a 21-year-old and his mom vanish?

What can I do to know where to trace a phone that is switched off?

I am so heartbroken even the upcoming Christmas Party with the other boys still in juvenile prison, doesn’t cheer me up. Trust me, I am not ungrateful. It is just that not knowing where Diamond and his mom are, affects me.

My mind goes through a list of possibilities concerning their welfare, fate and whereabouts and I shudder in fear. Was their house locked up due to lack of rent? Did Diamond sell his mom’s phone? I hope, a part of me, hopes  they are okay and that they will resurface and get in touch. Sister Bertina has given up and is waiting for my positive feedback, and that too breaks my heart.

A week has passed since the last time I called and promised to wait for my contact’s phone call. There are nights I have left my phone on, hoping to receive a notification that the phone is on. Every morning, I check for a notification that is yet to come.

Good things come to those who wait

Diamond is one of those inspired young men I have ever met in juvenile prison. He had, especially shown interest in joining Lifesong Kenya as a volunteer. He had also asked Earnest Okello how he can record the songs he had been composing while in prison. Thinking about all these things makes it even harder to imagine that I cannot trace and find him.

As I keep waiting for Diamond and his mom to resurface, I hope they are okay. I am hopeful that my anxious wait will come to a happy ending. Right now, all I can do is wait, and wait some more, for Diamond’s phone call. I can’t tell what torture of hope and anxiety an unsaved phone number will cause when my phone rings.

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How breaking my promise not to call breaks my heart
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